“If we are among the men of good who will yearn for peace, we must lay the foundation for peace ourselves, by working for the social world of the child.” — Maria Montessori, International Montessori Congress, 1937
Parents – the biggest influencers
Parenting is a journey full of unexpected moments, and one of the most surprising truths is this: when you want the kids to listen, they don’t. When you think the kids aren’t listening, they are. This paradox serves as a powerful reminder of the influence we hold as parents, mentors, or caregivers. Our words and actions often have more impact than we realize —especially when we least expect it.
Children are like sponges, constantly absorbing the world around them. It’s easy to become frustrated when they seem oblivious to instructions or advice. You might feel as though you’re talking to a brick wall, repeating yourself endlessly without results. But then, in an unguarded moment, they might echo back something you said in passing, or emulate a behavior you’ve demonstrated without thinking twice. It’s these moments that remind us: children are always watching, always learning—even when we think they’re not.
This is why leading by example is so essential. Actions often speak louder than words. Children learn how to navigate the world by observing how we interact with it. When they see us showing kindness, patience, and respect, they’re more likely to mirror those behaviors. Conversely, if they witness anger, impatience, or unkindness, those traits can seep into their own behavior, often in ways that surprise us.
Being mindful of our words and actions requires intentionality. Take a moment to reflect: How do you handle stress? How do you speak to others, especially in moments of frustration or disagreement? How do you react to other drivers on the road? Are you calm and collected or reactionary and ready for a fight? These moments are teaching opportunities. By modeling emotional regulation, empathy, and kindness, you’re planting seeds that will grow into habits and values in your children.
Kindness, in particular, is a lesson that ripples outward. A simple act of generosity or a kind word can leave a lasting impression on a child. It shows them the power of positivity and the importance of considering the feelings of others. When children see kindness in action, they learn that it’s not just a concept but a way of life. They learn that small, thoughtful actions can make a big difference.
It’s also crucial to remember that listening is a two-way street. While we want our kids to listen to us, we must also take the time to listen to them. Creating a safe and open environment where they feel heard fosters trust and strengthens your bond. When children feel respected and understood, they’re more likely to mirror that respect and understanding in their interactions with others.
The bottom line is this: You’re always teaching, whether you realize it or not. Be mindful of what are you teaching by leading with kindness and patience. If you could go back in time and step in your parent’s shoes, what would you do differently? Do you now find yourself repeating those behaviors, or are you breaking a cycle and choosing to be better? Remember, you’re not only shaping your children’s behavior in the now, but also their behavior as adults and caregivers in the future. Every small gesture counts, and every moment is an opportunity to model the kind of person you hope they’ll become.
So the next time you feel like they aren’t listening, take heart. They are. And the example you set today will echo in their hearts and minds for years to come.
“The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
